It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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