In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
someone owes me an orgasm
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
