They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
