We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i will never coherently bang her
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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