Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
