You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
