I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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