Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
