My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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