Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
