When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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