Will you blow on my dice?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
