He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
