I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
