windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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