I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
