He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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