just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
