I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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