yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
