One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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