4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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