I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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