Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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