Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
