i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
