She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
