He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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