My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
