It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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