But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
