What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
