So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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