Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
