ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Shame - the story of my life.
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