he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
