I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
