remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
