and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
