i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Congratulations! We have a period
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
