Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
