question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
