you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
