Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
