My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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