I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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