Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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