I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
