margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Shame - the story of my life.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
