Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
