Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
4 words: hood of his car
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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